The Look

Our little family of three went out to celebrate my husbands birthday yesterday. We celebrated early because we won't be together to celebrate on his actual birthday - Aug. 8th. Early on in our dating relationship, my husband and I learned that being a military couple meant sometimes doing things a little unconventionaly. So we've celebrated many birthday's, Mother's/Father's Days, Thanksgivings, etc. before they actually occur. We've learned that it doesn't matter what the date on the calendar is, it matters how and with who you celebrate special times with.
Anyway, so we celebrated this big birthday by going swimming as a family. Joshua loves to swim and it's a great activity to help with low muscle tone. The pool was packed with families as it was a rainy day on a long weekend. So we had to navigate ourselves around tons of families swimming around.
Now, I've heard many times from other families in our Down syndrome community that they often get stared at. I've not experienced this myself....until today. It just felt that people were looking at us. It was strange. I didn't mention anything to G while we were swimming because I thought maybe I was just being paranoid. I'm sensitive about these sorts of things. Like, very sensitive. It makes me sad to my very core. I cry about it. I think about it to the point where it's probably not so healthy. But it's what I do. It's how I cope. It's how I continue to develop a new perspective as a mother of a child with special needs. So, I just tried to ignore the fact that I felt a few sets of eyes on our family. Later on while we were having dinner, I asked my husband if he noticed people staring at us. He doesn't seem to be as sensitive about this sort of thing, so I thought he probably didn't. But he actually did notice it too. He said that we are probably going to have to get thicker skin on that kind of thing because it is inevitable. Our family is "different" than the norm. It's true we will have to develop thicker skin. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.
So, if you're one of those people that gives "the look" to families because of something that's different. Please stop. It's more hurtful than you will ever know. We do notice. We know our family is awesome!

On a similar note, I sometimes wonder if strangers know Joshua has Down syndrome. I wonder if it's obvious. We are just so used to his adorable face that we don't see it. Since his birth, we do find ourselves noticing individuals with Down syndrome more than before but that's because we now know what to look for. We know the features. We know the characteristics. But we didn't before, unless it was obvious. So I'm wondering if strangers know that our fine young son sports designer genes.  I know that when we are out in public, people are drawn to Joshua. They love to play little games with him. Love to make him laugh, which is not hard. Love to comment on how cute he is, which he is. But are they doing this because they can tell he has Down syndrome or are they doing it because he's just an awesome kid? I probably will never know the answer to this question. I do choose to believe that it's because they see that he's such an amazing kid.